I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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