never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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