He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
