My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yo dont text me then not text me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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