What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
