one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
