I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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