Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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