I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
