Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
