turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
it glows. i had to have it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
