So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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