ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
