Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
