So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
