next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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