When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
