She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
