Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
