Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
