i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
