I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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