i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize