..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
