she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
