hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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