what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
