im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
