We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
