five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
