Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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