Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
