u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
