My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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