sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
