eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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