My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
