Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
