how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
