Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
