problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
