i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
