he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
