Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
