She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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