This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
