Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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