there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize