Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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