dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
