He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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