How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
