Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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