Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
