why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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