Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
