Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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