pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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