he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
