will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
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