i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
