I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
