It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
