Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
