So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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