i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
