Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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