My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
