You work out of a Hotel?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
